dead wonderland

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

oh surprises, surprises.

in the least expected places.

we’ll see if it lasts.

-kirra

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Sunday, July 31, 2011

“I have this strange feeling that I’m not myself anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but I guess it’s like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling.” Haruki Murakami (via saddest-summer)

and here we go again

damage control, asap.

it’s not that anything is wrong sort of, life isn’t spiraling downwards or anything right now.

I just need it. The feeling of functioning off of nothing. The feeling of wasting away.

I thought I didn’t need it, but I do. It’s not even about how I look. I don’t look perfect, I know my “trouble areas” but that’s not what’s bothering me.

What’s bothering me is this nagging voice in my head that I am better than the need for food.

I know it’s completely illogical but it keeps coming back to this

This overwhelming consuming thought of needing control.

-Kirra

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

CW: 158 / GW2: 155

Maybe yesterday was just a bad day.

I don’t know, I’m still fat. And I’m not going on some lavish or strict diet right now, I know I’ll just fuck it up and get fatter. I’m just eating really healthy and when I don’t a purge—tada. Living off of kombucha and water inbetween. And those natural laxative thingys.

I dunno, we’ll see. More later.

Jane